When You Feel Like An Absolute Slut

slut

All these allegations going around about Harvey Weinstein got me thinking. Do we actually deserve it? I have been flashing my tits and ass to men for months now, and it wasn’t until a guy told me, “well if you’re not in the mood, I will go somewhere else because my balls are full and they need to be emptied.” When in the fuck is it EVER okay to tell a woman that?

It set off a chain of events today, that has absolutely soured my mood and feelings. I tried to find my bipolar friend for help, and of course, he is nowhere to be found. FUCK. I am sick of him disappearing like this on me. He is just one of the many who is getting on my last nerve.

My mom was admitted to the hospital tonight. She doesn’t eat because when my father demands that things get done, she doesn’t have the time and neglects herself. This is what men are. Fucking lowlife scumbags. Yes this is a “I hate men post” and I could give less of a shit about it.

I tried to cheer myself up, and I don’t know, everything just backfired. All the feelings I have been burying inside have been imploding inside of me. I feel horrible, awful, like the dirtiest skank at the bottom of the barrel. I have let myself become an object for men to use. To dump on. To shit on.

‘It could just be this bipolar mess screaming out to me. Whatever it is, it’s stopping me from feeling sexy and desired, and not the sexpot, exotic caramel goddess that I know I am.

I have to snap out of this and soon.

Tomorrow is another day. I hope it gets better from here.

Stay tuned.

This entry was posted in Bipolar, Online Encounters, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to When You Feel Like An Absolute Slut

  1. It’s the effed up days like this, that I try (and trust me, it’s really VERY trying) to remind myself that there is only one person I can control in life: me.

    Unfortunately, there are men that are only in relationships for the sex…and as brutal as it is, at least the ball-draining prick was honest and you know he’s good for a ball-drain and that’s about it. And I think what keeps me going, is that I have to believe there are good people in the world…

    And, I hope your mom’s visit to the hospital is short and simple and she is able to find her own peace too.

    Here’s another big hug to you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for your kind words. I noticed you have been commenting on my pasts and I thank you for taking the time out to comment and write to me. But I too, believer there are good people in the world left, despite all that I have been feeling.

      Mom is doing great, she is back from the hospital. She just needs to take better care of herself.

      Thank you again for your kind words and warm hugs. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t understand – you’re flashing your tits to a guy, yet taking offense at some off color remark he makes? Am I missing something?

    Liked by 1 person

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