Did you ever notice how fast we are going? Everything is instant. Instant movie; Netflix. Instant Food: Grubhub. Instant taxi: Uber. Instant dating: Tinder, OkCupid, Bumble and hundreds of others. Why can’t we slow the hell down people? Where are we going so fast? It’s like the age-old expression, “hurry up and wait.”
I almost ended a budding relationship because of my impatience. I met an articulate craftsman of words on a Sex site, where I wasn’t looking for anything; I just joined because it was way to express my sexual views in a healthy way. As you might have guessed being on this sex site invited many unsolicited requests for cam sex, phone sex and god knows what else. Out of all the nonsense I received a very interesting message from a gentleman under the alias “Kurio” which is the loose interpretation of the Greek word for “Lord,” (thank you google). Anyway, Kurio is a charmer, a delicate fragile being who found me interesting and started a dialog with me through the messaging service of the site. I found him to be equally as interesting and we graduated to an email exchange.
But, unfortunately that’s where it ended. Kurio suffers from anxiety and depression and has had his heart broken many times. He is a lawyer who lives and breathes his work, or so he says. I am not a fool. I know we live in a world of “catfish” and predators so everything he could be telling me could be one gigantic lie. I mean the fact that he a 39 year-old male that is single is already hard to believe, (I am saying this with experience because nearly everyone in my age group is already married with kids). How do I know he is not just playing games with me and my heart? We really know nothing of what each other looks like, except for a few minor details. Our correspondence has been on a very deep level which is really special to me.
So what’s the problem? According to him, his life is in turmoil. Between juggling a demanding career and renovating a living space, he has virtually no time for any other sort of contact. You heard it folks, no Skype, no WhatsApp, no Yahoo, no Google Hangouts, no nothing except for one email a day. I know what you’re thinking. It’s a lost cause and I should just cut it off now before I get my feelings hurt. Believe me, I have thought about it. But then something stops me. Have we become so dependent on instant gratification that we don’t allow anything to blossom anymore? Because we didn’t exchange numbers within a week, he is instantly married and cheating? What have we turned into?
Now, I am not stupid, I know how these things usually go. He may very well be a liar. I could be setting myself up for my next big future heartbreak. But what if, by some slim chance, my romantic penpal is all I have been waiting for AND more? What happened to the days of Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks in “You’ve Got Mail?” What happened to the weeks and months people had to wait for a letter from their beloved? I have red flags ringing in my head, but is that all due to the bunch of deceitful bastards that have crossed my path? Like the emotionally closed off pricks such as the Texan who would rather watch a live stream of “Dungeons and Dragons” with his woman “friend” (which he is most likely having sex with too), rather than spend time with me? I am tired of these man-child losers. I want a real man to communicate with, with real feelings and something genuine to say that will value me as a person.
My romance with Kurio won’t be an easy one. But unlike the men that I have made “instant” connections with, he makes me feel special and I look forward to his letters every morning. It may not be much, but in this digital age I don’t think I mind slowing things down to a “Slow Clock” pace.
Did romance die so easily? In an “instant” world, I may have found my Prince Charming, but just at a slower interval. Either way, only time will tell.