A Bit Complacent….And a Bit Crazy

johnny-depp

So here I am. I have severed most of my online relationships with men, and am just here with myself. I mean I have two guys hanging out there, but one is living with someone, and another one is a notorious player. So where am I now? A bit complacent. I kind of don’t know what to do with myself as I am struggling to find things to do.

I got the go-ahead to start looking for work, and I had a great therapy session today. So why do I feel this lull? It’s almost like since there is no drama, I am craving the drama? That can’t be right, right? It’s so weird how that works. I am finally stable, and I have things to look forward to. My sleeping pattern is still horrendous, but I am hoping that gets fixed tonight, as I didn’t get much sleep last night/this morning.

So where am I now? I am in a point of life where the future is right beyond the horizon. I believe God is looking after me and is finally giving me the go-ahead to make the next move. It’s almost as if there is this hidden force telling me “You’re almost there. Just a little further.” I feel the taste of success and it is right in my grasp, yet I am feeling a bit let down. Is the lack of drama a let down?

Note to self: Snap out of it. You’ve got this. Be thankful that you removed most of the drama out of your life. That was getting you no where. You’re on your way to a new healthy life and you’re going to make it. You won’t be another statistic. You can do this. Get your head on straight.

What was I thinking? I miss drama? No wonder I am as mad as the Mad Hatter. Why is a raven like a writing desk? I have no idea. Yup. Exactly my thought for the day.

Stay tuned.

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