I don’t know why I am doing this, but I just have to post this. I am on just one dating site right now. I met a murderer on there, but that’s a different story. Anyway, it’s a site for people who are trying to connect that have a mental illness. It’s called NoLongerLonely.com. It’s not a bad site, but to send messages is a total rip off. But if you want to poke around and see what’s out there, it can be cool to look around and see what your fellow sufferers are like..
Anyway, that isn’t the point of this post. I got a message from someone on there who NEEDED help. Like he needed someone to kick him in the head. I understand people have a mental illness, I empathize, because being bipolar is a fuckin’ nightmare, but being mentally ill doesn’t excuse a person from being an absolute head case. I was going to copy and paste excerpts from this winner’s profile, but screw it, I am going to go ahead and post the whole thing, (hopefully he hasn’t heard of WordPress, and something tells me he hasn’t). So here goes…step on up Contestant Number One: *Drumroll Please*
First off I should tell you about my disorder. . Its Schizoaffective.. Which is symptoms from both Schizophrenia and Bipolar, I also have really bad anxiety. . . But my medication works very very well it gets rid of most of the bad symptoms. . There’s some left over issues though. . ..I know this message is long and that’s prob not what your into.. But I want you to know about me…I’m an artist. I’m very talented at drawing with graphite. I’m okay at painting I can make a pretty mean abstract painting. . lol I have a pure heart. I would do anything to get my message to the right girl. I’m pretty much still a virgin. . Well I’ve done it before once or twice but I didn’t feel anything at all cause I took numbing medications right before and used protection..Didn’t feel a thing it sucked…. . SO I still haven’t experienced what its like fully. I’m waiting till I find a girl who I can fully trust and love to do it. But if I find that girl who will go all the way with me. WOO I imagine it’s gonna be amazing for me.. I can only imagine how great it would be and how intense it would be for me. Just make sure to not take my meds right before maybe skip them for a day… It’d prob blow my mind away lol. I know it..I can’t wait till its my first real time with a girl.. I hope shes attractive.. Just I want it to be perfect…I am not here to waste my time on someone who I’m just going to leave or someone that will leave me. I’m looking for my dream girl. And I want to pick someone who I know I can be with for the rest of my life I’m not here to waste my time dating. . I’ll know if your right for me. . I am compassionate to animals and people, especially to a beautiful girl for some reason lol. I show a lot of empathy and care a lot. I’d say I care too much. I will feel bad if I even slightly make you feel bad. . I am honest all the way and will never tell a lie it’s just not me. . I’m sort of Christian. . I believe in God. I like RPG video games. My favorite game is Skyrim. . I am just trying to find my one true love my one and only. My diamond in the rough. I hope I’m not screwed. lol. .Theres nothing I want more than to fall in love with someone as beautiful as you. I want to feel close to someone and share my entire life with them…… I don’t want to just get into your pants and thats all I want. I want much more than that. I want to be close as we can get. I want you to be there for me 100% always. I want for you to trust me fully, and that we can share anything with each other and not judge each other whatever it is anything. I don’t want to fight ever, I want it to be peaceful and beautiful and whole, I want real and I’m sure you want all this too and more. I show nothing but compassion and care and empathy/sympathy for my lover. I’m always putting her first… I feel things deeply in my heart,, I can draw, paint, sing, write, meditate on life, and contemplate deeply what life means, I can make good conversation, I can do a lot of things and I know love making is one of the things I was meant to do and gifted at.. I feel it.. I know it sounds funny but I am so so so sensitive and my body is too , I’m so sensual and I just feel things so deeply like I’m extra sensory… I’ll know. I can sense your feelings I’d think… I can read peoples feelings way before a word is even said…sex without love is meaningless to me. I have big black and grey tattoos on the inside of each forearm wrist…and one on my upper right arm that is turquoise.. My ears are pierced but I took them out cause I don’t like having to take care of them.. I had an eyebrow ring once..I’m a nice guy, nice guys finish last..I’m saving up for my very own condo..
You think he is picky? Just a smidge. Oh and if you’re fat, you’re pretty much out too because here is what this winner looks for in a girl:
How he describes the kind of person he’d like to meet
Well she will be a girl who won’t judge me for anything I say or do. She will accept me for who I am. . I’d like our relationship to be 100% real. . She will be able to share anything with me, anything, and I with her. . We can talk about anything to each other and trust each other fully and completely. I want a girl who can express herself and her heart and mind freely. I want a girl who knows and understands how she feels. . . . I want someone who can respond to my long messages very well. . I want her to be totally trustworthy. I would like it if she wasn’t the type of girl to hook up with you. . . I’d like it if she was honest all the way . . I’d like her to share some common interests with me. . like art or video games or something anything. . . Maybe just ideals and morals in common with me. . She has to be very nice and I want her to say things like “aww” to me and be all cute lol. . I want her to have a big heart. . I want her to be sweet as sugar and have a kind heart . . . . I want her to be real, like real, always never fake. . I don’t mind if she likes to wear makeup I think it makes girls look good. …I want a good girl . . She should understand my sense of humor. . . Ideally I would like her to have a thin body and a beautiful face, at least an average body. I know that’s not very fair because I am not thin. . But thats my wish. . I would die for a thin bodied girl lol. . But I’m sorry if that offends you, its what I want, but if that’s too much to ask, and I find the right girl who happens to be bigger, then that will work too.. . As long as I can find attraction to your body shape I’m fine. . . . I will accept somebody who has an average sized body too. I don’t really want too big or fat. And I am kinda fat. . Well I’m 220. I used to be thin. I just wish I was thin again so I could be perfect for my girl. . , But the med’s made me gain weight. . I’ll work on it. . I could definitely take a big girl if she had the right proportions. . But I want a skinny girl just cause skinny is so cute and sexy. . . I really want a skinny girl cause I think they’re so cute and sexy. . That’s just a wish lol. .Don’t get me wrong big girls can be very very sexy too..
You hear that? Big girls can be sexy too! Yay me! Fuck me man. I thought I seen everything, especially since meeting the murderer and all. Let me ask you something ladies, or even men, would you say something? Would you have the heart to compose a message to this profile and GENTLY tell them their profile was awful? Well I did. I won’t post his message to me here because it wasn’t all that bad. Well it was bad, but it wasn’t that his message that turned me off so much, it was when he told me “look at my profile” and oh yeah, he starts off his message by saying “hi, your cute :)” Holy hell, man. Anyway this was my message to him:
Subject: Just a Friendly Suggestion
Look, I don’t want to come off as mean and rude but I had to say something. First off, “your cute” is not how you start a message to a woman. It’s “you’re” ah forget it, the whole thing is wrong.
I just want to let you know, that your profile is awful. I mean it was a HUGE turn off. And being a bigger girl when you were saying you want a skinny girl over and over and you’re big yourself was terrible. You’re very attractive, so looks aren’t your issue. Also, the whole thing in there about sex and what you want, take that out, it will send women running.
I understand, it’s difficult. I have bipolar so I know it isn’t easy, and it’s even harder to put yourself out there. But if you want anyone to take you seriously, or at least be “somewhat normal” you HAVE GOT to fix your profile. I love that you are honest and caring and a wonderful person. You really sound genuine. But all of what you wrote was terribly offensive. Take my advice or ignore it, but if you would have left out most of what you wrote I would have considered talking to you. AND please for the LOVE OF GOD, don’t use “your cute” ever again.
Good luck out there, and remember your dream girl IS out there. : )
All my best.
I hope that didn’t sound too bad. I mean I really wanted the message to be was WHAT IN THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING WITH THAT PROFILE????? But I digress I didn’t. Oh, and by the way it CLEARLY says my weight on my profile which is 190-205 pounds, so yeah, he can’t read either. Unless I am the exception and I get a pass on the skinny girl thing because “your cute.” *Gags*
What are men thinking?